


Flew Out the Window Like a Chicken

by femslashfatale (mikans_elbow)



Category: Kodomo no Omocha | Child's Toy, Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: ???????? what even is this fic, F/M, technically character death but its akio so like who cares, warning for implied kozue/akio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 12:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18388577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikans_elbow/pseuds/femslashfatale
Summary: An extremely obscure crossover between two very good shoujo series. Sana and Akito attend Ohtori Academy and fix shit.





	Flew Out the Window Like a Chicken

A new school has shown up in town, and Sana doesn't remember seeing the construction for it. Doesn't that stuff take a long time to make? Whatever the case, Mama seems delighted at the advertisements it sends them in the mail and signs her up to be admitted. Was there ever another middle school in town? It's always been Ohtori Academy sitting up there at the top of the hill. 

The uniform is cute, and Sana spins around in circles to showcase how good she looks in it for Rei, who smiles and compliments her just like the kind manager that he is. Her song of the day before leaving for school details how excited she is to attend class with all her friends after barely seeing them all summer, and she ends it with an interpretive dance that clocks Rei in the face. Oops. 

And now she stands before the gate to Ohtori, hands on her hips, grinning at the height of the school. A dramatic setting fit for an actress! 

The people around her walk by without acknowledging her, and their mumbled conversations hang over the entrance like a fog. She pouts and hopes that her classmates will be a little more energetic, or else things will be super boring. She might even prefer Akito's original ruckus over a totally silent stoic group. 

Speak of the devil, she can spot that little boss monkey only a few feet in front of her! Walking alongside Tsuyoshi, who's blabbering on about how cute his girlfriend is. Sheesh, ever since they got together, he's been obnoxious about the PDA. Sana sprints up beside the pair and smacks Akito on the back so loud that the principal could hear it across campus up in his tower. He startles slightly but doesn't make any vocal response. 

"Goood morning, Akito!! You ready for another year of school?! We're middle schoolers now, so no going back to your old boss monkey ways, got it?" She hides her mischievous smile behind one hand, eyeing him with joking suspicion. 

"Good morning, Sana. As energetic as always, huh?" Tsuyoshi pipes up. Sana grins back at him and shoots a thumbs up. Akito stares at the two of them then quirks an eyebrow. 

"This school is weird." The first words out of his mouth are judgemental, of course. Sana scoffs at him. 

"Weird how? I know everyone's been really quiet around here but that's probably just 'cause it's so early in the morning, you know! Not everyone can be gifted with being a ray of sunshine right as they wake up like me. You seem like the night owl type, Akito, are you getting enough sleep? No wonder your face is like that!" She elbows him in the side as she teases him, but Akito keeps a serious face on. Geez, can't he lighten up a little?

Akito ignores her and asks, "Have you met the chairman yet?" His face isn't just serious, it's like 'I'm attending a funeral' levels of seriousness. Sana shakes her head. 

"Alright." 

"Care to, like, elaborate? Is there something weird about the chairman? Is he a ghost? Is he a vampire? Is he an imposter? Is he collecting kids' blood to keep himself immortal? Oh no, what am I gonna do in that case?! I bet my blood is the most scrumptious delicious blood that there is, and poor Rei will have to mourn me for years! Well, he already has a mostly black wardrobe so that shouldn't be too bad, haha." 

Tsuyoshi politely smiles along at her antics and Akito continues giving only the slightest acknowledgment that he can even hear her as they head to class. 

 

"I'm Sana Kurata, age twelve, and an infamous child actress! So nice to meet all of you!" She sends a sparkle of her teethy smile at the class and shines a peace sign at them, too. Everyone seems pretty friendly so far. A brown-haired girl with a pink bow in her hair throws her hands down on Sana's desk the moment she sits down. 

"Welcome to Ohtori, Sana! I'm Wakaba Shinohara. If you ever need help or wanna ask a question, feel free to talk to me. I can tell you about all the rumors, gossip, or ghost stories floating around the school. Kidding." 

They stare into each other's eyes for a moment. Sana instantly feels kinship with this girl and she gives her a firm handshake. 

"Is there something weird about the chairman? My source is probably biased because he's a negative gloomy rain cloud, but he piqued my curiosity," Sana says. 

"Curiosity killed the cat, don't you know?"

Sana turns her head to someone's voice responding to her, but no one else in class is looking at her. Great, she's only twelve and she's already started hearing things. 

"The chairman? You mean Mr. Akio Ohtori himself? The only thing that's weird about him is how hot and charming he is," Wakaba says with hearts in her eyes. Sana can only imagine a balding fifty year old man with sweaty glasses when she pictures a principal, so she takes Wakaba's description with a chunk of salt. 

"Okay, then is there anything else I should watch out for? Ohtori's a gorgeous campus, but I don't know anything about the people."

"I can introduce you to some of my friends! I bet you've already heard about Utena, though."

"Utena who?" Sana asks her with an extra ounce of exuberance. Wakaba just takes her by the hand to lead her to another classroom. 

 

In another classroom, Akito sits at the back next to the window, where the only empty desk was. He gives a curt introduction and his intimidating demeanor is enough to spook any annoyances from potentially trying to befriend him. Tsuyoshi's fine, though. He glances at him, sitting a few seats away. Well, he's fine sometimes. 

The pink-haired girl in front of him keeps sending unbearably obvious glances back at him and it's starting to irritate him, so he stands and walks to face her. 

"What do you want," he says, completely deadpan. Her eyes widen and her eyelashes flutter like she's been awoken from a trance. 

"Oh, sorry! I was just wondering... Never mind. It's nothing."

"Just spit it out."

"Do you happen to have a ring on your left hand? Maybe one with a rose insignia?" She glances at his left hand, which is hidden because he shoves his hands in his pockets by default. What a weird question. 

"No. Now you can stop thirsting over me, stalker." 

"Wait, stalker?! What gives you the right to accuse me of that? All I did was look your way a few times, holy cow," she says, shoving herself up from her desk. She's quite a bit taller than Akito, he's now realizing, but it doesn't matter to him. 

They stare each other down, and the girl surprisingly manages not to blink the whole time. Creepy. 

"Yeah, you'd never succeed as a stalker with hair as gaudy as that. Sorry," Akito says, not sounding sorry at all. The girl's hands bunch up into fists and Akito tenses. 

"NO FIGHTING!" 

The door to the classroom slams open and a familiar pair of pigtails pops into Akito's vision only a second later, shoving herself between him and the weirdo girl. Sana is pissed. What else is new. 

"I wasn't fighting," Akito says. Sana looks like she believes him, but she bops him softly on the shoulder with her hammer as a warning, nonetheless. 

"Sorry about him! He's not as bad as he seems, I promise. You're Utena, right? I'm Sana! Wakaba's in my class and she said we'd get along, so hiya!" 

Utena the weirdo girl lets her hands unravel and takes one last irritated glance at Akito, who sticks out his tongue at her. A flame begins to burn in her again. There's no way a guy like that can be her prince. Akito's just too good at getting on people's bad sides. 

 

"Why's he here?" Utena asks. As expected, Sana and Utena had gotten off well, and Utena invited her to come visit her dorm room after classes, but she hadn't wanted that jerk of a transfer student co come along. 

"I don't wanna be here either," Akito mutters. Sana has his hand held tightly in hers, presumably to keep him from running away. He looks much more docile than earlier, Utena notes. Is he blushing? Must be the evening lighting. 

Sana sighs long and dramatic, then yells, "This is exactly why! I'm not letting you make enemies on your first day of school, Akito. Don't you ever take a day off from being you?" 

Akito shrugs and tries to pull his hand out of Sana's grip, but her fingers dig harder into his hand. 

"Utena-sama?" 

Sana looks up and sees a beautiful girl in an apron standing in the doorway to the dorm building behind Utena. Her voice is measured and quiet, but still manages to reach them. 

"Himemiya! Come over here and meet the new kids," Utena says. "Sana's really nice; you'll like her."

Himemiya smiles and gives a small curtsy before walking toward them to join the conversation. Utena waves a hand at her and says, "This is Anthy Himemiya, she's my roommate."

She's shorter than all of them, but looks up with an even gaze that doesn't falter. Akito feels weirdly tense in her presence and doesn't understand why, and unconsciously squeezes Sana's hand. When he looks to his left, he sees Sana a bit on edge too. So it's not just him. 

"It's nice to meet you, Hayama, Kurata. I hope we can get along," she says. 

"We didn't tell you our names," Akito mentions. Anthy keeps on smiling and smiling like they're insignificant. 

"I heard from Utena already," she says. Utena looks surprised at that info, looking quizzical, but the confusion passes as she reasons that she probably forgot. 

"It's nice to meet you too, Anthy! Can Akito and I just step away for a second? I forgot to tell him something; we'll be super quick!" Before Sana even finishes her sentence, she's dragging Akito around the corner of the building away from a befuddled Utena and the still-smiling Anthy. 

"Is it just me or is she, like, ultra creepy?" Sana stage-whispers at Akito, letting go of his hand. His hand stays in the air for half a second, sadly reaching after Sana's, before he shoves it in his pocket. 

"You're not as dense as you look, Kurata. Yeah, she's totally putting up a happy face. Kinda like you do sometimes." 

"I'm gonna ignore that backhanded compliment for the moment. We gotta do something about this! It didn't look like Utena realized, but it's obvious if you know what to look for. She reminds me more of you when we first met, honestly." Sana strokes her chin in deep thought and plops down on the cement ground, making a puff of dust trail in the air around her. 

"You literally just met her," Akito replies. "She's not gonna want us digging into her business, you do realize that?" 

Sana only smirks in response and giggles. "You didn't want me digging into your business, either, and look at how you are now! Only good things come from my genius plans!" Akito says nothing. 

When they walk back to where Utena and Anthy were left, Utena's rambling on about something funny Wakaba did while Anthy nods at all the right places. Her eyes are vacant and soulless. 

"Hi, we're back! I just needed to tell Akito that his fly was down, no biggie." Sana narrowly dodges Akito's hand reaching out to her to do something dastardly. She's not letting him touch her unless it's on her own terms, no siree. 

"So, Anthy, tell me about yourself! How's your family? Have other friends besides Utena? You seem like the little sister type, I know a lot of little sisters. I've always wanted an older sibling! I have a little sister, but our situation is kind of complicated so I don't get to see her too often. It's a tough job being a good older sibling, huh?" Sana stops to take a huge intake of breath and let Anthy answer any of her questions. 

"Is that so?" Anthy replies. Her glasses shine and Sana has to blink the glint away. 

"Himemiya does have an older brother, how'd you guess?" Utena asks. "He's actually the chairman of the academy. Hey, he should be free right about now, right? Why don't we take you two to meet him?" She swings her head to meet Anthy's gaze, and they smile at each other. The sight sends a chill down Sana's spine and she still can't exactly pinpoint why. Why does Utena know when the chairman would be free?

 

The elevator ride up the tower is long and silent but for the creaking of the metal surrounding them. Akito is staring holes into the floor, trying not to think about how high up they are. Sana notices the pallid color in his face and, after a moment's hesitation, takes his hand. 

"It'll be over soon," she whispers, squeezing his hand. "Then we can go home."

 

Akito feels like a fish in a fishbowl as he enters the chairman's room. The walls tower over him and everything feels too big in comparison to him. Sana is still holding his hand, and he feels genuine fear at the prospect of her letting go. He can hear clothes shuffling in the distance, and he feels cold. 

"Excuuuuuuuse me? Sana Kurata here, with my friend Akito Hayama, and we're here to see the chairman?!" Sana's voice raises in pitch as she speaks, and there's a nervous, frenzied energy underlying her quiet yell into the room. 

They walk hand in hand toward the man sitting on a white couch in the middle of the circle. He has one arm slung over the back of it, and he looks a bit like Anthy from the back. That must be the chairman, then. 

The sight before them stops them in their tracks, and Sana feels like throwing up. She wants to be holding Rei's hand with her other hand, but she tries to funnel all her concentration onto Akito's hand in hers. They can handle anything together. 

Some girl— she's definitely wearing the girl's school uniform, and she looks to be the same age as them— is kneeling in front of the chairman by the end of the sofa. Her face is sweaty, and blue hairs cling to the back of her neck. 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Akito and Sana scream in unison. Their childish but angry voices ring through the tower and kill the intimidating atmosphere. The chairman moves through grease as he turns his face to them, and the girl looks up just as slow. 

This is a farce. 

Akito runs to the girl, then haphazardly pulls her up from the ground and away from the chairman. Sana lets go of him to smash her hammer in the chairman's face, which genuinely shocks him. 

"You two are quite precocious little children, aren't you?" His voice rumbles at them from all sides, echoing back and forth against the walls. "This is no place for you." 

"What the hell are you doing, you goddamn sicko?! Child molestor! Pedophile! This girl's like thirteen!" Akito yells at him, feeling pure fury alight within him. The girl he's gripping shoves him away, and looks at him with derision. What the fuck?

"So what if I am? Don't get in the way of adults." Her voice has a lower affectation than is natural, but still has the squeakiness of a kid. She raises one hand to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. The way she moves isn't natural, either, she's too sensual, too adult, too in control of her own body. 

"You're an idiot too!" Sana yells at her from the other side of the couch. "Why are you doing something dumb like this with a creepy adult instead of enjoying your childhood! Go play in the park with your mom! Join a club and make friends! There's so many other options than—" 

Kozue begins chuckling, than full out laughing, interrupting Sana. They all stare at each other with intensity, all while the chairman continues to sit leisurely with his legs spread and shirt unbuttoned. He's enjoying the show, which pisses Akito off even more. 

"You deserve to be in jail," Akito spits. "Fucking sick bastard." 

"I chose to do this," Kozue responds. "Don't you respect my agency? How disappointing." She gingerly sits down on the couch next to the chairman, crossing her legs. 

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Sana screeches at him, lifting her hammer up one more time. He raises a hand in a 'stop' gesture and she pauses. 

"What can you do about this besides spout criticism?" He puts his hand down, as if that's the end of the situation. It's more baffling than anything. 

"Can you do anything besides fuck little girls and jerk off to the sound of your own voice?" Akito snaps. Sana lets out an "ooooohhhh" to support his burn, which is almost cute if not for the everything else. 

"I can do many things beyond your pitiful comprehension—" the chairman begins, but before he can finish...

Sana gives Akio a look. They nod in agreement. On the count of one, two, three... 

"Hey, is that a helicopter!?" Sana bellows at the window, using her diaphragm just like her voice coach told her to. Akio looks, like an idiot, and it's all over from there. 

With the strength that only a wronged child can have, Akito shoves the sofa in the direction of the window, and it screeches across the floor. Kozue jumps up and out of the way before it hits the edge, but Akio gets caught in his unbuckled pants and faceplants forward

directly

out

the

window. 

"Are you okay with the fact that he's probably dead?" Akito asks Sana. Her smile freezes. 

"Why do you have to ruin everything?"

Kozue looks on, mostly amused, and slightly freaked out at what this means for the story.


End file.
